John Robins discusses his path to sobriety in new memoir
Comedian and podcaster John Robins reflects on his 30 years of drinking, recalling moments of joy that were often overshadowed by loneliness and despair, reports BritPanorama.
Robins, who has been sober since November 2022, has authored a memoir titled Thirst, which explores both his tumultuous relationship with alcohol and his journey to recovery. The narrative is characterized by dark humor and candid accounts of addiction, contrasting sharply with the jovial atmosphere of his previous radio shows and podcasts detailing nights out.
In his book, Robins recounts experiences such as stealing his mother’s Jacob’s Creek wine at age seven and recreating a cocktail inspired by The Big Lebowski, leading to extreme hangovers. These anecdotes serve to illustrate the profound impact alcohol had on his life as he navigated waves of denial and self-hatred.
Robins, now 44, currently resides alone in Buckinghamshire, as evidenced by a backdrop of books and musical memorabilia during a video call. Known for his work on Radio X and BBC Radio 5 Live, he co-hosted the award-winning podcast How Do You Cope? with Elis and John, which has garnered 50 million downloads.
Once focused primarily on celebrating boozy escapades in his comedy, Robins’ later career has exhibited a shift toward introspection. He received the Edinburgh Comedy Award in 2017 for documenting his breakup with comedian Sara Pascoe, while his more recent performances have drawn from his experiences with sobriety, such as in the show Howl.
Robins emphasizes that writing Thirst wasn’t just a therapeutic exercise but a means to understand his relationship with alcohol. “I started writing it about a year sober when I was still exploring what an alcoholic was and what was necessary to live any kind of fulfilling life without alcohol,” he states. This exploration allowed him to identify patterns in his behavior, ultimately illuminating the deceptive nature of alcohol.
His path to sobriety wasn’t marked by a single incident but rather a gradual exhaustion with the lifestyle dictated by his addiction. A moment of clarity came when he confessed to a friend about his suicidal thoughts related to drinking. Subsequently, he was prompted to seek help, eventually joining a 12-step recovery program.
Describing the program as a “very gentle, kind and supportive but quite challenging sort of ego death,” Robins acknowledges how it altered his perception of self-importance. This process was vital in helping him address underlying issues that had driven his dependence on alcohol.
In recovery, Robins realized that alcohol was a symptom of deeper troubles. “I had to start from scratch. Like, how do you build a person who doesn’t drink every day?” he assesses, noting the importance of therapy, meditation, and even Buddhism in his ongoing journey.
He articulates a newfound resilience, likening his mental state to having multiple rooms in his head to navigate his emotions. “Now, if I get agitated or angry with myself, I can be like, ‘Oh, we’ve stepped into the resentment room. We’re doing that today, are we?’”
Robins expresses uncertainty about whether he was born an alcoholic or became one, comparing it to understanding a peanut allergy. “Either way, it doesn’t really change my approach to peanuts,” he concludes, reflecting on his complex relationship with alcohol from a young age.
Raised in Thornbury, near Bristol, Robins embarked on his comedy career after graduating from Oxford. He initially grappled with self-doubt and external validation but eventually found direction by focusing on the aspects of his work he could control.
Though television opportunities eluded him at times, Robins has appeared on several shows and has embraced the rise of video podcasting to connect with fans on his terms. “We can just make it ourselves now,” he affirms, confident in the evolving landscape of comedy and media.
Writing Thirst has been both a challenging and enlightening process for Robins, who has read his manuscript multiple times during editing. He expresses a sense of detachment regarding potential reception, stating, “How it goes down is really none of my business.”
‘Thirst‘, by John Robins, is published by Viking at £20
